just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
