i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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