Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
