but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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