awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I touched a dick in church today
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
