Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
