my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
