I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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