Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
