I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
