Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im holly from the hills drunk
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
