also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
