last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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