her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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