summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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