Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
