Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
