Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
