Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
