i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
