I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
