I'm jealous of your bromance
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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