Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
