what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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