what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
