I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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