I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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