i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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