He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
