I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
