I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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