I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
