I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
