There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
