do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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