with your own penis?
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
