Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
