So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
