do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
