OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
