Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
