I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
