I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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