I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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