so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
