just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You ruined the universe
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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