hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She bit a glass in half.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
