he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
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