The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize