what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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