I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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