my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
