I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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