if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
