she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
