he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
