it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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