where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
