Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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