i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
