Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
