Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
